Bishounen Too Sexy
by HiikariChan
Summary: [Parody Songfic] The bishounen cast members of Inuyasha sing about how sexy they are. Rated for foul language and homosexual jokes.
1. Sesshie Too Sexy

How did this come about, you ask? I was in a chat, Rping with my friends. And the usual happened. We started to make fun of Sesshoumaru in our out-of-character conversations. Well, one thing led to another, and I was soon singing, "I'm too sexy for my boa…" ect.

            All Inuyasha characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko-sensei. Wish I owned them, but I don't. I just temporarily loaned them from the Otaku Bank of America. And I kinda promised Inu I'd have him home by nighttime. He gets lonely without Kagome. ^.~

            The song "I'm Too Sexy" belongs to RightSaidFred. This is a simple parody songfic, nothing more.

            The "Things Sesshoumaru Would Never Say" that comes after the song belongs to my friends and I. Another time when we were Rping. Yes, yes. I don't remember exactly who came up with what, but my friends Karen, Meag, and others have credit where it's due.

Sesshoumaru-sama Too Sexy 

**By HikariNoMiko**

I'm too sexy for Jaken, too sexy for Jaken,  
Jaken's going to leave me  
  
I'm too sexy for my boa, too sexy for my kimono,  
So sexy it hurts.  
And I'm too sexy for Japan, too sexy for Japan,  
Modern times and China  
And I'm too sexy for those hanyou,  
Too sexy for that houshi,  
No way I'm fighting Naraku  
  
I'm a youkai, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I do my little turn in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my dragon too sexy for my dragon  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hair  
Too sexy for my hair what do you think about that  
  
I'm a youkai, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I shake my little touché in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my  
  
I'm a youkai, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I shake my little touché in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my Rin too sexy for my Rin  
Poor little poor little Rin  
I'm too sexy for Jaken, too sexy for Jaken,  
Jaken's going to leave me  
  
And I'm too sexy for this song

**Things Sesshoumaru-sama would never say. **Well… Maybe he would say them…

____

|Sess: (Girly giggle) "Oh, no, Inu, we mustn't! We're _brothers_!!"

|

|Inu: "…What the hell kinda crap is he spurting NOW!?"

____

|Sess: (Girly giggle) "Oh, stop, Naraku! You masher!"

|

|Naraku: "…I suddenly have no interest in absorbing you."

____

|Jaken: "B-b-but… Sesshoumaru-sama! You promised!"

|

|Sess: "Hush now, Jaken. I have no intention of sleeping with an un-beautiful thing such as yourself."

|

|Jaken: "B-b-but… Sesshoumaru-sama! You promised!"

|

|Sess: "Hush. Go find a cow or something."

|

|Jaken: "Hai!" (Runs off to find a cow to sleep with.)

____

|Sess: "Rin, would you like a piggy-back ride?"


	2. Inuchan Too Sexy

Hello again! I was thrilled at the number of reviews I got this fic's first day! To all of you who assumed so, I was not smoking anything! (Hard to believe, ain't it?) 

**Shinigami Hilde**-Meag, thank you soooo much for the review! ;.; I did forget that one, didn't I? I'll have to compile the "Things the Chars Will Never Say" into one fic.

**Caj-trixie**-Of course he should! And I'm doing one for _all_ of the guys in Inuyasha. Hence the title.

**Melis, Karen, Jessie, Meag, Dan, and all my other very good online friends out there**- Thankies for lowering yourselves to read such insanity!

**Kima**-^^ Reading all your fics has inspired me greatly. Thanks for the review!

**Steph, Britt, Sam, Allison, and Laura**-^^ Hope you like it!

All Inuyasha characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko-sensei. Wish I owned them, but I don't. I just temporarily loaned them from the Otaku Bank of America. And I kinda promised Inu I'd have him home by nighttime. He gets lonely without Kagome. ^.~

The song "I'm Too Sexy" belongs to RightSaidFred. This is a simple parody songfic, nothing more.

            The "Hush Puppy" joke at the end is something my friend Li came up with. She was doing a shonen-ai Rp with her friend to scare newbies away, and the pairing was Inu/Miroku. And Miroku was calling Inu, "Hush Puppy." ¬¬

            "Onii-chan" means "Older Brother" and "Ototo-chan" means "Younger Brother" and "Ningen" means "Human" and "Hanyou" means "Half-demon" and "Youkai" means "Full Demon"

            **It, in case you can't guess, is referring to Kagome's "Osuwari" (Sit)**

Inu-chan Too Sexy 

**By HikariNoMiko**

I'm too sexy for Kagome, too sexy for Kagome,  
Kagome's going to leave me  
  
I'm too sexy for my Tetsusaiga, too sexy for my Tetsusaiga,  
So sexy it hurts.  
And I'm too sexy for Japan, too sexy for Japan,  
Modern times and China  
And I'm too sexy for Miroku,  
Too sexy for that bitch Kikyou,  
No way I'm fighting Naraku.  
  
I'm a sexy hanyou, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I do my little turn in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my ears too sexy for my ears  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hair  
Too sexy for my hair what do you think about that  
  
I'm a sexy ningen, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I shake my little touché in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my  
  
I'm a sexy youkai, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I shake my little touché in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my brother too sexy for my brother  
Poor brother poor brother Sesshoumaru  
I'm too sexy for Kagome, too sexy for Kagome,  
Kagome's going to leave me  
  
And I'm too sexy for this song

Quote from my friend, **Hotaru Motou**. "But Inu ain't too sexy for Ana!"

**Things Inu Would Never Say** And let's hope he never really would say them. O.o

Inu: "Houshi-sama!" (Takes Miroku's hands into his.) "I shall bare your child!"

Miroku: "Oh, Hush Puppy!"

Inu: (On the verge of tears.) "And then she said **it!"**

Kouga: "WHAT?! What a fuckin' bitch!"

Inu: (Hugs Kouga, both sobbing into the other's shoulder.) "I'm so glad we understand each other!"

Kouga: "Me too, man! Me too!"

Inu: "God, onii-chan! Why the hell do you always pick on me?!" (Breaks down into tears.) "I'm a fragile hanyou!"

Sesshoumaru: "…." (Hugs him, patting his back.) "There, there, ototo-chan."

Inu: "Kagome… I think it's sooo sexy when you say **it."**


	3. Houshisama Too Sexy

All Inuyasha characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko-sensei. Wish I owned them, but I don't. I just temporarily loaned them from the Otaku Bank of America. And I kinda promised Inu I'd have him home by nighttime. He gets lonely without Kagome. ^.~

The song "I'm Too Sexy" belongs to RightSaidFred. This is a simple parody songfic, nothing more.

            The "Hush Puppy" joke in the song is something my friend Li came up with. She was doing a shonen-ai Rp with her friend to scare newbies away, and the pairing was Inu/Miroku. And Miroku was calling Inu, "Hush Puppy." ¬¬

            I have dedicated this one to Kima. Lord knows she's probably saying, "Houshi-sama damn well better NOT think he's too sexy for Sango! Houshi-sama could NEVER be too sexy for Sango!" ^^ Love ya, Kima, and thanks for reading!

Inu-chan Too Sexy 

**By HikariNoMiko**

I'm too sexy for Sango, too sexy for Sango,  
Sango's going to leave me  
  
I'm too sexy for my staff, too sexy for my staff,  
So sexy it hurts.  
And I'm too sexy for Japan, too sexy for Japan,  
Modern times and China  
And I'm too sexy for Mushin,  
Too sexy for that Hush Puppy,  
No way I'm fighting Naraku.  
  
I'm a sexy houshi, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the ground  
Yeah on the ground, on the ground, yeah  
I do my little turn on the ground  
  
I'm too sexy for tanuki too sexy for tanuki  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hair  
Too sexy for my hair what do you think about that  
  
 I'm a sexy houshi, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the ground  
Yeah on the ground, on the ground, yeah  
I shake my little touché on the ground  
  
I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my  
  
I'm a sexy houshi, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the ground  
Yeah on the ground, on the ground, yeah  
I shake my little touché on the ground  
  
I'm too sexy for Koharu too sexy for Koharu  
Poor little poor little Koharu  
I'm too sexy for Sango, too sexy for Sango,  
Sango's going to leave me  
  
And I'm too sexy for this song

**Thing Miroku Would Never Say **

Miroku: "Sesshie-sama, will you bare my child?"

Sess: "………"

Inu: "Ohmigod, the bouzu and Sesshoumaru are gay!"

Miroku: (Looks shocked.) "You mean… Sesshoumaru is a guy!?"

Inu & Sess: "………"

Miroku: "Jakoutsu, will you bare my child?"

Jakotsu: "Mmm… Houshi-dono, you _know_ I would!"

Inu: (Mutters under his breathe.) "Yeah, if you were a woman."

Miroku: "Hush Puppy, will you bare my child?"

Inu: (Hugging him and sobbing.) "Oh, Houshi-sama, I was waiting for you to ask me! You know that I would!"

Miroku: "Oh, I'm so happy!"


	4. Kougakun Too Sexy

AN: -sigh- Gomen ne, minna. Hikari got REALLY lazy and didn't feel like writing. But I'm back! Mwahahaha! More insanity… this time, I'm making fun of one of my favorite male characters—Kouga! There will be between one and three more chapters, and then this one will be done. So… Enjoi!

Kudos to Lauren for helping me with my writer's block on the quotes. 

Inuyasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, and the Sexy song belongs to Right Said Fred. I belong to myself, and this computer belongs to me. Many other things also belong to me, as I could list, but I would annoy the hell out of you then!  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Kouga-kun Too Sexy**

**By Hikari-chan**

I'm too sexy for Ayame, too sexy for Kagome,  
Ayame's going to leave me  
  
I'm too sexy for my shards, too sexy for my wolves,  
So sexy it hurts.  
And I'm too sexy for Japan, too sexy for Japan,  
Modern times and China  
And I'm too sexy for that inukkoro,  
Too sexy for that houshi,  
No way I'm fighting Naraku  
  
I'm a youkai, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I do my little turn in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my wolves too sexy for my wolves  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my tail  
Too sexy for my tail what do you think about that  
  
I'm a youkai, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I shake my little touché in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my  
  
I'm a youkai, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn in the air  
Yeah in the air, in the air, yeah  
I shake my little touché in the air  
  
I'm too sexy for my wo-man too sexy for my wo-man  
Poor little poor little Kagome  
I'm too sexy for Ayame, too sexy for Ayame,  
Ayame's going to leave me  
  
And I'm too sexy for this song

Things Kouga-kun would never say. Well… Maybe he would say them…

Kouga: "Lookit my sexeh tail, I-nu-k-ko-ro!"

Inuyasha: "…."

Kouga: "Dontcha wish YOU had a sexeh tail that you could seduce my wo-man with?"

Inuyasha: "…."

Kouga: I'm hungry… Oi, Inukkoro, cook me something!

Kouga: -yawn- I know this will be hard, Kagome, but… I think we should break it off for a while. It's been nice and all, but I just don't think we have that kind of chemistry… I'm really sorry… Friends?

Kouga: -in the shower- Ohhhhhhhhh, I've got a LUBERLY BUNCH of COCOANUTS, deedeedeedee… There they are, a-standing in a roooow… BIG ONES, SMALL ONES, SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!!!!!!

Ayame: O_O;; Kouga!?

Wolf-man #1: Err, no, he's gone out.

Kouga: SING WITH ME, MEN! MAN, I feel like a WOMAN! –proceeds to sing "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" by Shaniah (sp?) Twain-


End file.
